A long time ago, a young man met a sweetheart of an angel at a local dance. He wanted to dance with this brown-eyed beauty, so he mustered up the courage and asked for her hand. She coyly said yes because she thought he had cool moves on the dance-floor. And she was an awesome dancer herself. That’s how my grandparents met. Fifty-nine years later, seven kids, six grandchildren, and three great-grandchildren later, they are still so in love. The years of course haven’t gone without heartache, but the triumphs far outweigh any bad. My grandpa overcame alcoholism when he had a stroke in 1984. He promised God on what he thought was his deathbed that he would turn his life over to Him if he lived. My grandpa, whom I refer to as Popo, has been serving the Catholic church as an ordained deacon for a little over 20 years now. My grandma, whom I call Momo, has stood by his side every step of the way. Their love for each other puts any Nicholas Sparks couple to shame.
I recently asked my Momo to give me some marriage advice since she is a well of wisdom. I’ve asked her about several things through the course of my life, but this one particular question is special to me because today is my grandparents’ 59th wedding anniversary. I asked her, “How do you stay so in love after all these years?” In my grandma’s beautiful handwriting, this is the advice she gave me and what each of the tips means to me.
1. Friendship: Love develops.
The friendship my grandparents have is beautiful. I know through the stories they’ve told me that their friendship grew over time, and pretty soon they became inseparable. Then they were married. I think their love and friendship continues to grow each day, even 59 years later. Love truly develops through friendship.
2. Love: Marriage.
Marriage is not an institution that my grandparents take lightly. They have fought tooth and nail to honor their marriage, because it’s a vow they took before God. By loving each other unconditionally, they have shown each other that their love and devotion to one another is a choice they make day after day: a true commitment to love each other.
3. Adjustments: Accept the person as they are.
Just like a sailor has to adjust the sails when the wind changes, so do we as couples in a marriage. I’m sure there were many times that my Momo wanted my Popo to change in the early years. He was at one time in his life a drinker, gambler, and smoker, after all. But knowing how she is and from what she has told me, she prayed for the best of him to shine through. She loved him through it. I’m sure they both had to make adjustments throughout the years to accept each other over and over again. Eventually, my grandpa changed his life and drinking ways. My grandma loved him all the while. I believe that loving your spouse as they are means loving them through the bumps, readjusting our attitudes, and accepting that not every day is going to be full of roses. But it’s all worth it in the end.
4. Forgiveness: Respect.
To me this goes hand in hand with unconditional love. Forgiveness is something we have to give in marriage over and over again. With forgiveness comes respect. When we choose to harbor resentment, we’re not truly forgiving, and the respect for our spouse is gone. We’re all human, and we all make mistakes. Forgiving is respecting our partner and giving them grace. Without it, it leaves a marriage on shaky ground.
5. Unselfishness: Forget about yourself. Be giving.
My grandma is one of the most selfless people I’ve ever known. However, both of my grandparents put others before themselves, and they especially put each other first in their lives. I remember my grandpa once telling me to put God first, family second, and myself last. Give and you shall receive. Isn’t that how the saying goes?
6. Communication: Learn to listen to each other. Talk.
This is so important for any relationship, especially marriage. Communicating with our spouse means we actually have to take the time to listen to one another, talk through our problems, fears, hopes, joys, etc. I know sometimes it’s hard for me to listen when I’m hearing the hard things. It makes me uncomfortable. But I know that sometimes you have to hear the other person out to work through the lows. Truly listening and being heard is a two-way street. And I’m pretty sure being heard is what we all long for.
7. Have God in your life: Make faith a part of your marriage life.
Now this is something that I’ve seen in action from my Momo & Popo all my life. They have had God in their life from the first day they were married, and their faith only grew over time. They pray together, work in the church together, and minister together. Having faith together makes their marriage strong. With God as the center of a marriage, we can get through the hard things and appreciate the good.
8. Celebrate: Laugh (eating out, going to the movies, dancing)
Seeing that, it’s no surprise my Momo came up with this up one. (Growing up, it seemed like my family was always celebrating something. And we always went out to eat. Still do.) I think this piece of advice is a true nugget of making a marriage a happy one. I think, pretty simply, it means to continue to date each other, to celebrate life, to laugh the bad days away, and to love the life we have with our spouse. My grandparents have the best sense of humor, and they both are just a joy to be around. There is always a reason to celebrate.
9. Be there for each other: Good times & bad times.
In our wedding vows, we promise to love each other “in good times and bad times, in sickness and in health.” I know for a fact that my grandparents have been there for each other through it all. The older they get, the more ailments they’ll see, and yet they still stay right next to each other, holding each others hand.
In our wedding vows, we promise to love each other “in good times and bad times, in sickness and in health.” I know for a fact that my grandparents have been there for each other through it all. The older they get, the more ailments they’ll see, and yet they still stay right next to each other, holding each others hand.
10. Living life together: Enjoy the companionship you have together.
And last but not least, this one means so much to me. I always thank God that I get to do life with my husband, and now I know where I get it from. Living life together is a beautiful thing. God placed us with our spouse to make this life a little sweeter. The companionship we have may not always look glamorous or exciting, but just being together, truly appreciating one another is what makes a marriage tick. My Momo & Popo definitely enjoy the life they have together. It’s an awesome thing to see.
In my head, I can hear my Momo singing, “If you can survive to a 105, I’ll love you.” Their love really is one for the books. Momo and Popo still hold hands, make each other laugh, watch movies, go out to eat, respect each other, cherish their marriage, love their family and children relentlessly, and put God first always. Right now, Popo has been a little sick, and things have had to change a bit with him being in and out of the hospital, but their love still holds stronger than ever before. I admire them, love them, and thank God for them and all the lessons they have taught me. I hope and pray that I can one day celebrate 59 years of marriage and make it look as beautiful as they do.
Happy Anniversary, Momo & Popo! Thank you for always being an inspiration to all who know you, and thanks for letting me share your wonderful advice. May it be a blessing to all who read it.
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Ahhhh this is just so wonderful. I absolutely adore the fact that you have this in her handwriting. So, so special. I wish I had someone in my (immediate) family like this for such fantastic marriage advice. Marriage isn’t a strong suit for my side of the family. Anyway, accepting each other has been huge for me in my marriage – that is such fantastic advice. We grow and change so much in such a short amount of time, so being able to accept each other during these changes makes us stronger. Beautiful post, Kristy. Thank you for sharing with us, Momo!
Thanks, Meg! I just love my grandma, and I’m so, so thankful she wrote it down. They are definitely the role models in our family, and we all feel very fortunate to have them to look up to. Acceptance and compromise is huge. Marriage is definitely something that requires work every day. :) Thanks again, my dear!
So sweet and such great advice!! Thank you for sharing this! Fabulous post!!
Aww, so glad you liked it, Amanda! I was so happy to share. :)
Such a sweet post to honor so many wonderful years! This advice is certainly timeless and so perfect. It’s not easy, but looking at these two and seeing how they stood the test of time, they are a true example of what can result from hard work, love and true dedication. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks, Ann! It’s most definitely timeless. I’ll be passing this along to Charlotte when she’s older and a wife herself one day. I’m so proud of my grandparents. They have overcome so much, and their love really is a testament to God’s goodness. I was so happy to share. :)
A handwritten note?!! So sweet! This post brought tears to my eyes, it’s so beautiful. Thank you for sharing :) xo
Yes! I just love my Momo. :) I’m glad it touched you. They are really some amazing people.
My Grandma lost her husband very early and went 30+ years without remarrying because she loved him so dearly. I adored that about her. :)
Aww, that is the sweetest, Kaity! Love can be really beautiful.
This is too precious. Words of wisdom for sure!
Thanks, Whitney! They really are some precious people. I’ll cherish their wisdom forever. :)
Your grandparents seem like very special, loving people. What a blessing to have them in your life! Beautiful post, I love her letter.
Thanks, Christina! They really are. I am definitely grateful to have them in my life. Hope you’re having a great week!
Ahhhh this is just so wonderful. I absolutely adore the fact that you have this in her handwriting. So, so special. I wish I had someone in my (immediate) family like this for such fantastic marriage advice. Marriage isn't a strong suit for my side of the family. Anyway, accepting each other has been huge for me in my marriage – that is such fantastic advice. We grow and change so much in such a short amount of time, so being able to accept each other during these changes makes us stronger. Beautiful post, Kristy. Thank you for sharing with us, Momo!
So sweet and such great advice!! Thank you for sharing this! Fabulous post!!
Awww, I just loved this. Then I got weepy.
I yearn for my husband to be on the same faith journey as me. It’s such a disconnect in our relationship – I just, pray, pray, and pray that one day we can connect on the faith level as we have in all other areas of our lives. He is an amazing man and 100% supports me practicing Christianity and raising our children as Christian. I am blessed and so thankful. However, it does lend itself to a very solo spiritual life.
Your grandparents are amazing and their advice is bang-on. Unselfishness and forgiveness are huge. It makes a world of difference to simply say “I’m sorry.”
Beautiful post. Happy anniversary to your Momo and Popo!
xoxo
Oh, Jennifer, I’m so glad you loved it and that it touched you.
Hang in there with your husband. My grandma had seven kids while dealing with a man that wasn’t always easy to deal with, and she waited and prayed for her husband to become a church-goer. And one day it did happen. Now look at him? A deacon. :) I’m not saying I know what will happen, but boy, do I believe in the power of prayer.
I think they definitely know a thing or two about marriage after 59 years. And if you could see them today? It’s the sweetest thing you’d ever see.
Xoxo!
Such a sweet post to honor so many wonderful years! This advice is certainly timeless and so perfect. It's not easy, but looking at these two and seeing how they stood the test of time, they are a true example of what can result from hard work, love and true dedication. Thanks for sharing.
A handwritten note?!! So sweet! This post brought tears to my eyes, it's so beautiful. Thank you for sharing :) xo
My Grandma lost her husband very early and went 30+ years without remarrying because she loved him so dearly. I adored that about her. :)
This is too precious. Words of wisdom for sure!
Your grandparents seem like very special, loving people. What a blessing to have them in your life! Beautiful post, I love her letter.
Awww, I just loved this. Then I got weepy.
I yearn for my husband to be on the same faith journey as me. It's such a disconnect in our relationship – I just, pray, pray, and pray that one day we can connect on the faith level as we have in all other areas of our lives. He is an amazing man and 100% supports me practicing Christianity and raising our children as Christian. I am blessed and so thankful. However, it does lend itself to a very solo spiritual life.
Your grandparents are amazing and their advice is bang-on. Unselfishness and forgiveness are huge. It makes a world of difference to simply say "I'm sorry."
Beautiful post. Happy anniversary to your Momo and Popo!
xoxo
Kristy, “I can’t even” with this heartfelt post! Just looking at the pictures of Mother & Father and Mother’s priceless written advice, had me in tears. I read your post and I was literally sobbing. Honoring your Popo and Momo on their 59th anniversary on your blog is a priceless gift to them. Thank you for sharing! This one is top of the list for me! Love you!
Aww, Aunt Rita! :) Isn’t it the most to say the least? When my mom sent me what Momo wrote, I just cried and cried. Then I had to get it together to write it down. I’ll hang on to these words forever. Love you so much, too!
I love stories like this. Such a great legacy to have and share. Thank you for sharing their example for all of us.
Thanks so much, Abi! I love these stories too, and I’m so grateful to have them part of my life. I know their legacy will live on through their family for years to come. :)
Kristy, "I can't even" with this heartfelt post! Just looking at the pictures of Mother & Father and Mother's priceless written advice, had me in tears. I read your post and I was literally sobbing. Honoring your Popo and Momo on their 59th anniversary on your blog is a priceless gift to them. Thank you for sharing! This one is top of the list for me! Love you!
I love stories like this. Such a great legacy to have and share. Thank you for sharing their example for all of us.
Thanks, Meg! I just love my grandma, and I'm so, so thankful she wrote it down. They are definitely the role models in our family, and we all feel very fortunate to have them to look up to. Acceptance and compromise is huge. Marriage is definitely something that requires work every day. :) Thanks again, my dear!
Aww, so glad you liked it, Amanda! I was so happy to share. :)
Thanks, Ann! It's most definitely timeless. I'll be passing this along to Charlotte when she's older and a wife herself one day. I'm so proud of my grandparents. They have overcome so much, and their love really is a testament to God's goodness. I was so happy to share. :)
Yes! I just love my Momo. :) I'm glad it touched you. They are really some amazing people.
Aww, that is the sweetest, Kaity! Love can be really beautiful.
Thanks, Whitney! They really are some precious people. I'll cherish their wisdom forever. :)
Thanks, Christina! They really are. I am definitely grateful to have them in my life. Hope you're having a great week!
Oh, Jennifer, I'm so glad you loved it and that it touched you.
Hang in there with your husband. My grandma had seven kids while dealing with a man that wasn't always easy to deal with, and she waited and prayed for her husband to become a church-goer. And one day it did happen. Now look at him? A deacon. :) I'm not saying I know what will happen, but boy, do I believe in the power of prayer.
I think they definitely know a thing or two about marriage after 59 years. And if you could see them today? It's the sweetest thing you'd ever see.
Xoxo!
Aww, Aunt Rita! :) Isn't it the most to say the least? When my mom sent me what Momo wrote, I just cried and cried. Then I had to get it together to write it down. I'll hang on to these words forever. Love you so much, too!
Thanks so much, Abi! I love these stories too, and I'm so grateful to have them part of my life. I know their legacy will live on through their family for years to come. :)
Wow, 59 years! That is incredible. As someone who is getting married soon, this post was really encouraging to me. I’m pinning it so I can reread it in the future! So many great tips.
So happy you found it encouraging! They really are a beautiful and amazing couple. Best wishes always, Jenna!
These types of posts are always so inspiring to me, to see a couple who has been together for so long and been through some really hard things and still come out on top puts tears in my eyes. They are one beautiful couple and I loved every bit of her advice <3
Thanks, Jess! They are the best, and I’m lucky to have them in my life. So thankful she wrote these for me and for everyone. :)
Wow, 59 years! That is incredible. As someone who is getting married soon, this post was really encouraging to me. I'm pinning it so I can reread it in the future! So many great tips.
These types of posts are always so inspiring to me, to see a couple who has been together for so long and been through some really hard things and still come out on top puts tears in my eyes. They are one beautiful couple and I loved every bit of her advice <3
I waited until today to read this post since it’s our 5 year anniversary Kristy. And now I’m crying. Your grandparents sound like awesome people with such a strong bond. Your grandma gave you some amazing and very sound advice. What a sweet, sweet post.
Oh, thank you Tiffany! They most certainly are. I’ll be thankful for her words forever. Xoxo
Wow, beautiful. It IS very inspiring (as Jessica noted in her comment.) It gives ME hope! I interviewed my grandmother before she died and asked her what advice she’d give to us younger generations and she said (with her dry British humor) “don’t get married.” Its refreshing to see that true & eternal love is real. <3
Thanks so much, Christie! It is definitely refreshing to see that couples still fight for their marriages. Their love really is one for the books. It’s out there for sure. :)
I waited until today to read this post since it's our 5 year anniversary Kristy. And now I'm crying. Your grandparents sound like awesome people with such a strong bond. Your grandma gave you some amazing and very sound advice. What a sweet, sweet post.
Wow, beautiful. It IS very inspiring (as Jessica noted in her comment.) It gives ME hope! I interviewed my grandmother before she died and asked her what advice she'd give to us younger generations and she said (with her dry British humor) "don't get married." Its refreshing to see that true & eternal love is real. <3
This is so beautiful!!! I seriously adore the generation office grandparents. They truly have so much insight and are such an inspiration; such a great example to look to. I love the photo of them dancing. True happiness right there!!! XO
Thanks, Alycia! I definitely adore our grandparents’ generation. The picture of them dancing is definitely one of my favorites too. :) So much love.
This is so beautiful!!! I seriously adore the generation office grandparents. They truly have so much insight and are such an inspiration; such a great example to look to. I love the photo of them dancing. True happiness right there!!! XO
So happy you found it encouraging! They really are a beautiful and amazing couple. Best wishes always, Jenna!
Thanks, Jess! They are the best, and I'm lucky to have them in my life. So thankful she wrote these for me and for everyone. :)
Oh, thank you Tiffany! They most certainly are. I'll be thankful for her words forever. Xoxo
Thanks so much, Christie! It is definitely refreshing to see that couples still fight for their marriages. Their love really is one for the books. It's out there for sure. :)
Thanks, Alycia! I definitely adore our grandparents' generation. The picture of them dancing is definitely one of my favorites too. :) So much love.
This really moved my heart. Thank you for honoring your family in a way that your Momo’s wisdom is shared in ways she could never have imagined