To the One Who Made Me a Mom,
Growing up, I never really had an urgent need to one day be a mom. I knew that one day I wanted to be one, and when I did, I wanted to be the best mom just like my mom. But I didn’t rush it. As life goes, things happen when they happen, and the day came when I had you. I was 31 years young. You see, I had prayed to find the husband that I would build a life with, and when I did, it wasn’t long before you came along.
I cried a lot when I was pregnant with you. Gaining so much weight was miserable on my body, and I cried because I wanted to meet you so badly (and selfishly I wanted to shrink down a little in size). I thought of what you would look like and what your future might hold, and I prayed for you every day while you were in my belly.
The day you came into the world was the day that changed my life forever. You made me a mom. It wasn’t all butterflies and roses at first. It took me a while to fully understand what had taken place. It was the biggest, most life altering event I had ever experienced, and I am not a fan of change. But oh how lucky I am to have experienced something so great, something so great that I never even knew I wanted. Something I never even knew I needed. That’s the thing about God. He always gives us what we need. It’s not about wants. What a miraculous gift giver He is. I am humbled to be your mama, and I’ve prayed for you and over you every day since the day you were born.
My little love, I have loved every moment with you, but it has been painful and exciting to see the time pass and to see you grow into the beautiful person you’re meant to be. Painful because I want to freeze time and memorize your speech, your tiny fingers, and tiny toes. I want to remember your funny faces, your laugh, and your love for life. Painful because I want the moments of you crying out for me to last forever but painful because never do I wish to see you hurt. Painful because I know this time is too precious. I want time to slow down so that we can hold on to these cherished days forever. But it’s also been exciting, too. Exciting to see you roll over, sit up, then stand. Exciting to see you talk, walk, then run. Exciting to see you ride a tricycle and run through the sprinkler. Exciting to see you eat ice cream and comfort your baby dolls. Exciting to see you want to read and learn and play and love. I pray for your future and I pray for God to give me the strength I need to let you go and grow.
It won’t be just the two of us (or the three of us counting daddy) like it has been for very much longer. But I want you to know something. God knew I needed you first to help mold me into the mommy I always needed to be. You did that. From the sleepless nights you gave me when you were just an infant to the times I couldn’t take my eyes off of you when you finally closed your eyes. From the time when I first heard your little laugh to the time when we were both rolling on the floor in fits of laughter. From the time when you were inconsolable and I had no idea what I was doing to the time when only mommy could make it all better. I have loved you deeper than the depths of the ocean. I have prayed more than I ever even knew how to pray. You did that.
Being a mom to you has been the greatest joy of my life. Know that I will love you forever, be there for you always, and always hold onto you with all my might. There might be times when I can’t physically hold you but know that Jesus can.
No matter how our world changes, you will always be my first. We’ll love another together, and we’ll grow together, and I’m excited to see what the future holds. You’ll grow up one day, and I’ll have to let you go spread your wings just like God always intended. Until then, I hope the days slow down a bit, but if they don’t, I’ll never forget that you were the one who made me a mom.
I love you with all my heart and soul,
Mama
Images by Pink Posh Photography
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This is such a beautiful letter! Definitely brought tears to my eyes as I read it! XO
Thank you so much, beautiful mama! Lots of love to you! :)
Beautiful! Why do they have to get big?? Love you, friend!
Thank you, my dear! Seriously. Why do they have to grow up so fast? Love you so much and am so thankful we get to go through this season together. Love you lots!
“God knew I needed you first to help mold me into the mommy I always needed to be.” – So much yes! Beautiful, Kristy!
That was the line that formed this whole entire post! :) Thank you for always being so sweet and encouraging. You’re one amazing mama, and I’m thankful to call you a friend. Love you!
So sweet Kristy! First born babies really do mold us. Charlotte is a lucky little girl to have a mommy who loves her so much.
What a beautiful, beautiful letter. *tears*
So precious — thank you for this outpouring of heart and spirit. Being a mom is a gift and reading this, you just know how much you treasure this gift and life the Lord has given you.
Wishing you a wonderful, wonderful Mother’s Day my friend.
xoxo
SO BEAUTIFUL! I was going to quote the exact line that Meg did!! Seriously, goosebumps. Beautifully written, she will love reading this one day :)
Love.
SO MUCH LOVE <3
I’m due with my first in just 7 short weeks, and this was SUCH a beautiful thing for me to read. I’m so anxious to enter into the adventure called “motherhood!” Thank you for sharing this for all of us to read! <3
Thank you so much for reading it, Laura! I’m four weeks in to life with two, and I promise you, you are about to enter the best phase of your life. Enjoy it, beautiful!
am truly touched by that,, i just had a baby girl 3 months ago
and am thinking what could be more beautiful than a letter to her. my first love
i love your words, and god bless u
thats my little ISLA
https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e66169f5e7624efa83274c0903b105a58aa884f2a5ca9f18611c52197e258cd0.jpg
She is precious! Sorry I’m just now seeing this. Hope you’re enjoying this fun age. :)
This is beautiful. I can totally relate with a almost 3-year-old daughter. She is my everything. Thank you so much for sharing.
Hello Kristy, I just now found this beautiful letter while browsing on pinterest (what else?) I felt tears welling up in my eyes while reading it…your heart jumps from your words. I’m going to keep it and edit it a bit. (if that’s okay with you) It reminds me of so many things I felt and still feel about my first born, Lauren Ashley. She is 36 years old now, a wonderful wife, mommy to three precious boys, an educator and currently working on her Ph.D. in education philosophy. Did I mention she is beautiful? It truly feels like it was just a short time ago when she was three years old and I took her to her first day at Carousel, a parent-cooperative play-school. (dating myself I know) Quick as a wink, it was August 2017 and we were celebrating her first day of school (as we have done since she was three years old) as she headed off to teach her first class at the University of MO. Hold on to every moment, each is more precious than the last. Thank you for sharing your heartfelt thoughts, I am touched.