Last January, like most people, I had bright expectations of what the year would look like. By the end of February, my grandpa got sick. It was no big deal at first, but then he kept getting sick. It’s like he could never catch a break. For months, we were spending a lot of time going back and forth to see him in the hospital. I tried to divert any sadness of what was going on with my family by staying busy with blogging. I had become a Houston Moms Blog contributor in April, and I had launched sponsored posts here on Seven Graces in May. I had no control of what was going on with the health of my loved ones, but I had control of what was going on with my blog, and that made me feel just a teensy bit better.
Then the summer rolled around, and I was non-stop busy. I had made this blog into a part-time job, but looking back, it wasn’t worth it. If I had to break it down by what I was getting paid and how many hours I was spending on it, I would have been getting paid well below minimum wage. My house was constantly a mess, Charlotte would whine if I was on the computer, and my husband was less than pleased with how many hours I wasn’t “present.” I had become a blogging monster. Originally, I had set out to make this space a place where people could come to find some inspiration and a glimmer of hope. However, I had lost that spark myself. Blogging was becoming a chore, not a fun hobby where I could share freely anymore. I remember my sister saying to me one day, “If it’s not fun, why do you do it?” And she was right. Not only had I become burned out, I was becoming consumed with consumerism, and that wreaked all kinds of havoc in my life. But I’m a stubborn soul, so I kept on going with no change in sight.
By this time it was August. My grandpa’s health had gotten worse, and things really weren’t looking good. Then September came, and my precious Popo passed on September 2, 2015. It was one of the hardest things I had to deal with in such a long time. I wanted to allow myself time to grieve, but I just dove right back into blogging because I thought I had to. I kept going on like I had some sort of obligation to fulfill, but all it was doing was keeping me distracted. Distracted is not what I needed. I needed to be still. I look back on what I blogged in September, and it makes me sort of angry at myself. I had three sponsored posts that month, and if you’re a blogger, you know what kind of hours those types of posts require. By the end of September, God knew I needed a break. Something happened that I can’t go into much detail about, but let me just say, it was definitely a “come to Jesus” meeting for me. It’s when I decided to put my family first because I hadn’t been. My shopping habits, my spending habits, and my blogging habits all had to change. I was doing so much with so little focus. I was like a lab rat spinning in a wheel for nothing. My faith was weak, but God’s grace was strong. It was my breaking point. Although trying times are hard when we’re in the midst of them, they really do make us stronger. God doesn’t just allow us to go through things, He allows us to grow through it.
In October, I had to re-prioritize. I had to give up any extras that were distracting me, and it was hard. I’m a people pleaser, so it was really tough to have to say no in a world where everyone expects a yes. It was hard to walk away from things I had loved. But I had to learn to do less with more focus.
As hard as that was for me at the time, it was a life-changer. When you do less, you’re able to focus on what truly matters. You know how to find that ever-elusive word of “balance”? You simply have to cut things out that really don’t matter that much. You make a list of your priorities, and you work on the top ones first. Everything else will either fall into place or it won’t. You can’t do it all. Sometimes the hard part is being okay with that. But I promise you, you’ll feel so much better when you accept it.
My marriage has been strengthened, my daughter has flourished, and my faith has multiplied. And you know what else? I finally allowed myself to grieve. (As a matter of fact, I’m still grieving, but I’m allowing myself to heal.) God knew exactly what I needed, and He led me to a new path. I had gotten a little lost, but He steered me right back to where I needed to be.
For so long, I was holding on tightly to the rope, struggling to do things my way, but what I had forgotten was that He is the only One ever truly in control of my life. He’s my safety net. Thankfully, I let go and fell right back into His arms. It’s never easy to give up control, but how silly we are to think that we ever have any anyway.
This year, I still want to share pretty pictures, yummy recipes, fun vacation spots, good music and TV shows, but more than anything I want to share more words, more words about Him. Writing was put on the back burner last year, and I feel the urge to change that. My passion is back. This year, I want it to be less about me and more about Jesus.
My goals for 2016 are simple:
Do less with more focus.
Less me. More Jesus.
And I have a feeling if I do that, this might just be the best year of my life. Care to join me?
Yes yes! This sums up my goals as well. I realized I was going way too fast and it was time to sloow down! I love writing and blogging and slowing down has helped me to remember why I love it! Thank goodness for Gods grace and learning lessons through the trials!
Thanks again, Keri! It’s funny how when you start going too fast, things start to get blurry. I’m so thankful for God’s grace and love and for teaching me humility time and time again. And I’m especially thankful for blogging friends like you who are some of the best encouragers I know. Xoxo
Love this! I had a similar experience this fall. Wishing you the best in the new year and can’t wait to read along.
Thanks so much, Ashley! Here’s to a great year for all of us!
Thank you for sharing. I like that resolution!!! I’m definitely in. Hugs, friend!!!
Love you, friend! Xoxo
I think you are already well on your way to having the best year yet; focus and Jesus is a powerful combination.
I sure hope so, Whitney. Focusing on Him is the only way to go. :)
Great focus for the New Year! Here’s to making your goals come true!!
Thanks so much, Kelly! I’m hoping and praying the same for you! Xoxo
Thank you for sharing!!!!! such a great message for all of us
You are so welcome, Kirstin! Love and blessings to you!
I think you’re on to something lady! I love that you know what you can and can’t do and you aren’t putting pressure on yourself anymore. Good for you!
Oh, thank you sweet Tiffany! I feel so much more calm about a lot of things, too. It’s been nice. Hope you’re having a fun vacation!
I loved this so much Kristy. Yes, I want less of me and more Jesus too. One of the reasons why I took homeschooling out of The Deliberate Mom is because I wanted to narrow my focus… parenting and faith (with a touch of blog stuff on the side).
I don’t know if you know this but I took the Christian Blogger’s Bootcamp course and one of the “incentives” is you get to join a community of alumni from the course. My faith has grown so much because I’ve been around bloggers who minister through their blogs. I rededicated my blog and told God to impress on me what I should write. I had a few posts near the end of last year which I’m so proud of but that I give God ALL the glory for. I mean… a spiritual poem?! I’m not a poet! lol
I’ve lost focus now and then but one thing is always true, we may move but the Lord never does. He is always there beside us.
Praying for a happy, blessed, and fruitful year for you my friend.
xoxo
Thank you so much, Jennifer! I’m right there with you on narrowing down the blog focus. I hope to do more of the same as well.
I’ll have to look into that bootcamp. I think that is such a beautiful community to be involved in. Are you part of The Peony Project on Facebook? They’re also a Christian blogging network. I’ll add you if you’re not. ;) And yes, I loved your poem!!! Lol. God sure is a genius when we let Him take over.
Lots of love and hugs and prayers for you as well! Xoxo
I’m not part of that group Kristy – you have me intrigued now! Thanks for sharing and for linking up to the #SHINEbloghop.
xoxo
So so so much of this!!! I love all of it and I completely relate to so many things you said – a lot of these are the same reasons I quit blogging a few years ago. It took the literal act of my blog being completely erased with no explanation for me to finally get the message that it just didn’t fit into God’s plan for me at the time. It took some time for me to realize it was okay. Sending you hugs and space to heal and grieve lady!
Thank you, thank you, thank you, Skye! This was one of those blog posts that I could have been nervous to press publish, but I then said, “Nah, I bet people can relate.” And man, the response has blown me away. I can only imagine the devastation you must have felt in that moment of losing your blog. :/ Sometimes losing things make us gain so much more, but it’s not until long after that we see the benefits of it. Thank you for your sweet, encouraging words. I’m really excited about the year ahead. :)
wow! this is so great to read! and pretty timely, too. we just did a little study with our small group on busy-ness, and about doing too many things. like what are you saying “yes” to, what are you saying “no” to, because you can’t say “no” to one thing without saying “yes” to another. this is a great new years resolution <3
Thank you so much, Alyssa! I just love it when we read things that are affirmations to something we’ve been feeling or something we’ve just read or talked about. I think people are craving to hear that it’s okay to say no if it’s for a better yes. Love it! Hope this year is great for you and for all of us! Xoxo
Yes! I definitely need less me, and more Jesus in all areas of my life. I’m sorry about the loss of your Grandpa. I’m coming up on 2 years since I lost my grandparents, and I’m still grieving as well. I’m good most days, and then I’ll just have a moment every so often where it feels fresh all over again. I’m very thankful for God’s mercies though, that see me through. Thinking of you!
Such a beautiful reminder and inspiration!
Great goal, Kristy. I know the feeling all too well of working on something that slowly becomes a distraction rather than a source of joy. I’m glad you’re on your way to finally finding your balance and that you were able to share this inspiring post with us on #SHINEbloghop. Here’s to a wonderful 2016 for you and your family :)
Yes. My small group at the beginning of last year did “The Best Yes” study. This January I have had to say that I am taking the semester off from leading the bible study to concentrate to keep the focus on a project I feel God is pushing me to.
Absolutely love this! I need to eliminate the social media clutter of my life and limit myself. These are amazing goals and I have similar ones too! We’ll all do it together! :)
I think you are doing a wonderful job. I know its hard to find the perfect balance, but it seems like you have found your groove. I’m certain this will be your best year yet! XO