This post is part of a social shopper marketing insight campaign with Pollinate Media Group® and Poise, but all my opinions are my own. #pmedia #poiseatkroger http://my-disclosur.es/OBs
For a lot of you, you’re already a mom, and you remember the agonizing days postpartum when you thought you would gladly keel over and die like roadkill ready to be scraped off the asphalt. If you’re reading this pregnant for the first time or even thinking a baby might be on the horizon, gird your loins! Your friends may have warned you that things were going to be hard after you deliver and that recovery was going to be a beast, but for your sake, they didn’t go into detail. Well, friends, we’re talking details today and how to survive the postpartum trenches in honor of the New Mama 101 series.
I remember when my loving BFFs told me a few horror stories of what postpartum looked like for them the week before I delivered, and I thought, “Why didn’t I know about this before? Why is no one talking about this?” Or maybe you hear about things but turn a deaf ear. Regardless, for your sake and sanity, we’re going there today so that you can’t say no one told you. You ready? Here are 11 things no one tells you until after baby (until now).
1. Your brain will function at a lesser capacity. This might not be such a shocker, and if you go through pregnancy, you might already know this truth. But ladies, it doesn’t go away. I’m three years postpartum (yes, it’s a thing), and all of my marbles still have not returned. I think they definitely go to your smart kid.
2. Your skin will wreak havoc. Hello, teenage acne. Nice of you to show up in my thirties. Again, you might experience this during pregnancy, but it doesn’t go away. You’ll be like a puberty stricken boy with pimples on your back and places you didn’t even know could break out (legs, anyone?). Don’t worry. It’ll pass eventually. And your skin’s elasticity? That will be shot for a long, long while, too.
3. You’ll have hot flashes and cold sweats. Maybe even the shakes. This lasted for a good month after I delivered. You can thank your raging hormones for that. Just know that it’s all normal. You are not going through menopause yet.
4. The swelling doesn’t disappear the day after you deliver. I had what I like to refer to as elephant feet. They were trunks. The swelling for me was far worse after delivery than before. I had lost the ability to wear my wedding rings around 20 weeks pregnant, and I was able to slip them back on about five weeks postpartum. Don’t be surprised if the same happens to you.
5. Your boobs will deflate like popped helium balloons. Painfully. Let me be clear. Your boobs will be the biggest they’ve ever been in your life, postpartum. If you nurse, they’ll fill up pre-nursing session and then deflate just a little after a nursing session. All normal. But when you stop nursing, those puppies deflate into floppy little things (or big things depending on your pre-pregnancy size). The floppy boobs rumor is true. And let’s talk about milk leakage for as second. It will happen. I wore cloth nursing pads to help remedy that issue. All day, every day.
6. Your hips don’t lie. You’ll be wearing your maternity clothes well after baby comes, and it is perfectly acceptable. Don’t let anyone tell you differently. Let me just remind you that your body will have gone through a huge metamorphosis. Embrace your new curves and have confidence that Stella will get her groove back.
7. You might grow a foot size. Permanently. I grew one whole foot size during pregnancy. I might need to also note that I had gained 60 pounds throughout my pregnancy. But I know plenty of friends who didn’t gain that much and have said they went up a half to a full size after pregnancy and stayed that way. I went back to my regular size, so you just never know what your wonderful body will do.
8. If you have a c-section, you’ll lose that loving feeling where your scar is. This is something my c-section friends told me well before I delivered, but you just don’t know the feeling until it happens. Recovery from a major surgery, especially a major surgery where they yank a human out of you through a six-inch incision, is no joke. Your scar will heal nicely if you have a good doctor, but the sensation you get when inspecting the scarred skin can only be described as weird. (Let the record show that you can still shave down under after you are completely healed.)
9. Your hair will fall out. Then your hair will look much like your troll doll did in middle school. As if anything else could top the sleep deprivation and all the other fun things, your hair will then fall out in clumps. This happened to me around month four postpartum. My entire front hairline just disappeared, and then the rest of my hair thinned out. I still have baby hairs growing back. Three years later, it looks like my shortest layer, but it wasn’t done on purpose. My hair also changed texture, too. It went from stick straight to wavy and frizzy. Fun times.
*I saved the best for the last two.*
10. You’ll live in mesh panties for a good week to a month. Your call. You might have heard about the magical mesh panties, but I didn’t really get what people were talking about until I asked for more from my nurses before I was discharged from the hospital. I was not leaving home without those suckers. They hold your pads in like magic, they don’t mess with your c-section scar, and they are comfortable as all get out. After you feel the need to stop wearing them, it’ll be granny panties to keep the pads secure. Sexy times call for sexy measures.
11. You’ll pee your pants. That’s right. Not only will it feel like you’re going through a 6-12 week period (you will bleed that long), your bladder will be wreaking havoc, too. (The items above helped with this situation: pads, a peri bottle, and big mesh or granny panties.) In my third trimester, I had some minor “accidents.” Sneezing, coughing, and laughing too hard, pee happens. I learned to start wearing pads for accidents. Then the pad wearing didn’t stop after delivery. It’ll be a while before you go back to normal. But don’t be surprised if you have light bladder leakage from here until eternity. You birthed a baby after all.
Thankfully, this last situation has a product to help a sister out. Poise products ended up being my favorite for coverage. When you’re out shopping at Kroger, just toss a bag of the new Poise Thin-Shape Pads into your cart. Click here to save $1.00 on any Poise Liner or Pad, 30-66ct at Kroger until March 13, while supplies last.
Then you can just toss a few pads and a couple of nursing pads into a cute wristlet for yourself and keep it in your diaper bag. You can now face the world with confidence, leaky boobs and bladder and all.
With all that being said, it’s all worth it. Sure, we wouldn’t choose to have to go through these annoyances just for fun, but if it’s the price we have to pay to get to experience the greatest love we’ve ever known, then I’d say I would go through it all over again. Sappy? Yes. Fun? Not all the time. But the truth? Yes. And the truth always sets us free.
Tell me veteran, mamas. Did I leave anything out? Feel free to share your experience in the comments. New mamas all around need to know.
Are we friends on social media? I’d love to have you follow along here:
i think you’ve hit the major points!!!! haha. motherhood at its finest!
Haha! Yes. Motherhood: The Secret Society of all the Lady Things. Lol.
Can I just say that I’m actually looking forward to the mesh panties again?! They are so darn comfy! Oh the things we go through as mamas. We really are saints. ;)
Yes, girl. I still have a pair holding strong in my drawer. Lol. And we definitely earn our angel wings through all the humility we endure. That is for sure!
Yes, yes, yes! Oh the things we endure… all while tending to the needs of a baby who’s up all night and sleeps all day lol.
No one told me about the shakes – my husband was so terrified a week after I had my daughter that he rushed me to emergency – would you believe no one there could tell me what was wrong? After they had failed at drawing blood the fifth time, we returned home and found our answers on the internet (the first time that consulting Dr. Google paid off). I continued to shake for a few days off and on afterwards, but was relieved to know it was normal.
You hit the major points here – very helpful.
Thanks for sharing.
xoxo
Exactly! I didn’t even talk about the sleep deprivation, because everyone talks about that, but it’s so true. You just walk around like a zombie with all of this craziness going on to your body.
I had the shakes a few days after we got home. Freaked me out! I thought I would have to go the ER, too, but no. It went away quickly. Thank goodness!
And thanks, girl! Always happy to help a sister out. ;)
My boobs just straight up evaporated. When I weaned Abigail it was like…..where are my boobs? I went to get resized for a bra and the chirpy and happy sales associate measured me and said “32A”! Is that what you normally wear??” and I think me bursting into tears right then and there gave her the answer she was wondering about lol.
Lol. Yours and mine both, girlfriend! I would love to be a 32A actually. My chest is so wide, but the boob part is lacking. And now they’re just sad, sad, sad. All for these little ones! Man. They are beauty zappers. Lol.
lol leaky boobs and bladder. looooove it
You know it. Keeping it real, all day, every day.
Oh my gosh… all of this is SO TRUE! Haha and I’m still dealing with so much of it three months later… those first few weeks though, they are rough and those mesh panties? They are glorious ! HAHA!
Oh, yes, T. You’re still in the trenches. Is it still this bad second time around? Next time, I think I just might place my own order for the mesh panties. Lol.
Mesh panties are heaven sent! Never really experienced leaky bladder (I guess I’m hashtag blessed?) but pads were totally my friend for a while………. because yeah.
Well aren’t you a lucky one! Mine was the worse. And pads. Oh, pads. Humbling women since they were invented.
I don’t know how long it took you to sit down and come up with all of these at the same time, but they’re all SO spot on. I loved the mesh panties. I was so sad when my stock that I brought home from the hospital was gone. My little girl will be three months tomorrow, and I fear the hair falling out. My hair is thicker than it has ever been before, and I love it. I assume I will say goodbye soon, because everything else you’ve listed is so true. Sad day…
Haha. Thank you! It did not take me long to come up with these at all. Three years later all of this atrociousness is still engrained into my memory as if it happened yesterday. And unfortunately, the odds aren’t good with your hair staying that thick. But you never know. You just may be the unicorn amongst us. Good news is it eventually grows back. I feel like mine is pretty much full again three years later. ;)
Oh girl…. this had me laughing…a lot. It is all so so true. It has been almost 5 years but all of these are still fresh in my mind. How am I getting ready to do this again?! ha.
Yay! I’m so glad it made you laugh! :) And yes, reality is that this whole motherhood thing is not glamourous. It’s just not. Lol. But knowing what I know now, if I knew I would get my Charlotte out of it, I would do this over and over again. Hope you’re feeling well!
All of my mama friends warned me about the bladder leakage thing but I didn’t believe them… until I was well into the thick of it! Thank goodness for Poise!
(Sorry for the very late reply but…) Yep, bladder leakage is no joke! Sneeze? Hello, there. And now that I’m pregnant? Forget it! Hope you’ve been well, girlfriend. Let’s get together soon, please! I hear your church has a great play area. Just saying. ;)